I thought about him alot, actually for almost five days in a row. All I could do was sit and think about the what ifs. I heard this song by Rascal Flatts, "Here Comes Goodbye" I could hear Shawn singing it. I think it showed me a little of what he went through.

He is happy and I am happy. I do wonder if we ever would have been happy together. Would I ever be where I am or where I am going. Sometimes I think i would not be, but honestlty, Shawn was the only person who I would give up everything for. When I think about it, I would not do the same for Rodney...

Someone drew Speedy Gonzales on my door. Oh what a pleasant reminder or in my opinion a slap in the face. When I think about him, i always think about him being here, in Kansas with me. The house I wanted him to rent is still for sale, so it is hard not too....