We Meet Again

March 22, 2009

I drove Geoff to his house after church. I will not lie; I did this so that I could see Shawn. When I got there, Shawn had a pillow over his face and I was talking to Geoff, not really acknowledging his presence. I went go check on Shawn’s knee and I thought that was all the touching that I was going to do. I talked to Shawn’s dad for about twenty minutes, which was weird because he and I have never really got along. I went outside because Shawn had taken my phone. I went to go find it. He and I started talking. We talked about little things and just laughing it up. All of a sudden, he picked me up and twirled me around and body slammed me onto the ground. I was in a skirt so the worst happened. Shawn was once my best friend so I do not mind it so much because it was not awkward. We kept talking then out of nowhere, I take a step to lean up against him. I quickly took three steps back and said, “Wow.” He asked what, I told him what I was about to do and there was really he could say. I asked him what he was thinking about because I could tell by his facial expression that he wanted to say something. He refused so I started whining like a little kid, I always got my way when this happened because it was all in good fun. He made a comment about how our kids would have done that. I said no, his whiny face would make me crumble every time so his son would hardly ever get in trouble, especially if he looked like Shawn. Oh the memories…Then we went to hit golf balls. Actually he went to hit golf balls…what I did would not constitute for hitting golf balls, all but my last one I could have thrown farther. My last swing Shawn showed me how and it worked!! This is a big deal because I could never accept help from Shawn. I never did, even little things like he could out lift me. I mean he should out lift me but for some reason that when it came to athletics, he should not be better; even though he was better at EVERYTHING. We laughed and talked but it was bullshit talk. We did not want to talk about what really was going on in our heads. We went to his car to talk because it was so windy. He said that he always asks the question of why was he not good enough. I always ask the question, “How did this happen?” We went back to the grass to talk. He and I are sitting so close. We are just inches away from each other’s face. He said that I have more self-control than he does. We kissed. One of the best kisses I have ever gotten; all the passion that surrounded us was indescribable. We both know that we cannot go back and right now we are both committed to some one else. We are going to meet up on Thursday to talk about it. I am avoiding it in the way because we know that we will no longer be able to talk. I still love him and I know he loves me; I know this because he told me. Nothing has ever felt so right when Shawn and I were together. I would have given up everything to be with him. I guess that is why we broke up, because I felt like I could not have my dreams and him, with him I had new dreams. I guess we will wait for Thursday…